Since I came back from Japan, I have noticed a huge change in myself as a person, my family and those closest to me have as well and all the positivity surrounding my newly born self is such a liberating thing to hear. I like to think I have changed my own perspective on everything from the smallest things to huge things drastically in order to be a better person. I took inspiration for this post from re-reading two of my most opened-up blog posts “So I Travelled to Japan… Alone” and “Beating The Fear” which are both rather word heavy but also took me a lot of courage to truly open up and let people know the real person behind the blog and Instagram. I want this to be another opened-up post where I let my own personality, struggles and triumphs shine through. As I type this, Halo by Machine Head is currently blasting through my headphones and with that I have a sense of achievement and inspiration which is always a plus, right?
So, as I mentioned here I had been struggling a lot before I went to Japan; of course everyone has their own personal struggles and we will never know one person inside out, but I was having a really shitty time, to put it bluntly. I didn’t know where I was going in my life, I didn’t have anything to really look forward to other than Japan. After going through a really annoying break-up with someone I loved dearly, my mental state decided to just implode on itself and it released a dull firework inside my brain which turned into a weird, black and white fuzz inside my brain. Lovely, huh?
Walking around with a goal in my mind every day in the beautiful city of Tokyo made everything better: it made a real difference to my life because I didn’t have to worry about anything else other than where I was going to eat for dinner later that evening. I didn’t have to worry about sad Georgia, I left her at home. Instead I was content Georgia on a solo journey of self-exploration and finding my inner-peace. I’d walk around this huge city I have never been to before with my headphones in finding my own way around; it was as if the tiny little robots in my mind had disappeared and no longer controlled me; like holy crap for once it was actually me in control of my own actions and damn that felt incredible.
I could do whatever I wanted to – and I did. Yes, that does mean I walked across the Shibuya Scramble Crossing 6 times in a row, because why not? The whole experience of just being there needed to be soaked in and absorbed by every inch of me; the sheer excitement of “oh my God, I am actually here” needed its time to sink in. If anything, 6 times crossing wasn’t enough. That’s the beauty of being away from home for a small while, you get to find what’s right for you. You can find what makes you happy, instead of sitting in bed playing video games on a daily basis with nothing in sight other than the same bed and surroundings for weeks on end. Man, I can’t thank Japan enough for making me want to walk that Crossing another 6 times instead of never walking it again.
The main thing I learned in Japan was just how strange it was that a country, getting on a plane to that country and staying there for a while made me value life. I used to not care what happened to me; I couldn’t be bothered with this whole “living” thing because it was getting pretty tiring for me, and I was so close to giving up but that tiny little ball of light that was deep inside me (cue Ron Weasley’s speech to Harry and Hermione) sparked – it was like someone poured the hottest but most perfectly brewed coffee over my head and shook me until I woke up. It was as if someone had put me in a vast, open room with neon word light installations illuminating my entire brain with the words “YOU CAN DO IT” over and over again in the prettiest, brightest and most appealing colours you could find on the colour spectrum. Thanks to those neon lights, or as I like to call it, the city of Tokyo, I’m feeling fresher than ever and ready to tell the tale of a bored and sad wilted girl who blossomed into the brightest and happiest cherry blossom of the bunch.
Of course, I’m not always going to be entirely happy – but, is anyone ever always happy? Not that I know of, and if you are, you are amazing. I still struggle, a lot. But my perspective on the world and everything in it has changed so much; I now care about how my life works out; I now care about seeing every tiny corner of the world because everything has its own form of beauty; I now care about making the best out of my life because let’s face it, life is the greatest gift of them all.